On episode 29 of Granite Goodness, Andy chats with Laura Cleminson, who runs a social club where people come together to talk about death and dying. Yes, really— the Pre-Dead Social Club! The two discuss:
The Story Behind PDSC: Laura started this initiative to foster open conversations about death and dying, helping people navigate end-of-life topics with humor, empathy, and community. The loss of her mother to cancer and her family’s reluctance to discuss death inspired Laura to dive into the subject and create a space where such conversations could be normalized.
Building Community Through Events: The monthly FREE anchor event, "Death Over Drinks” (where drinking is not required) is hosted in various communities and brings people of all ages, backgrounds and life experience together to discuss death-related topics in a casual, supportive setting. Other opportunities are created throughout the year to vary the way people can engage. They include: "We Wish We Knew That!" a roundtable discussion series where topics are explored more in-depth and approached from various points of view with the goal of teasing out the things we all wish we knew in certain situations. Author virtual meet-n-greets, Deadlines a creative obituary writing workshop, and other collaborations with the creative community like their wing-making workshop with the Death Wings Project.
Holistic Perspective on Death: Laura emphasizes the importance of embracing multi-generational conversations and learning from diverse perspectives on end-of-life experiences.
The Importance of Language Choice: She advocates for each of us to choose language that supports individual choices and not simply default to medical terminology, which can miss the mark and put a negative spin on a situation. She gives the example of how it feels to use the term AND (allow natural death) vs. DNR (do not resuscitate). With AND we are communicating we recognize death is natural and we don't have to go through every medical option available to man to say "I'm good to go", whereas DNR leaves us feeling we are taking something away from a loved one or ourselves. Language informs and supports how we process and accept death and dying.
Challenging Cultural Norms: Laura critiques modern society's reluctance to address death openly, arguing that a lack of rituals and conversations leaves people unprepared.
and more!
Laura Cleminson is the founder of the Pre-Dead Social Club. The Pre-Dead Social Club is on a mission to foster open die-a-logue and strengthen community ties surrounding topics relating to death, dying, and end-of-life decisions. By creating supportive spaces, they empower individuals to express their fears and desires regarding mortality, making it easier for them to comfortably communicate and confidently advocate for what’s most important to themselves and their families, ultimately leading to a more peaceful and dignified final exit.
Laura was also a speaker at Tedx Portsmouth in 2024.
Links & Notes:
Music provided by Sneaky Miles
AI Generated Episode Summary*
What inspired you to start the Pre-Dead Social Club?
The idea came after my mom was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer. She handled her mortality with grace, but my family avoided talking about death entirely, leaving me feeling unprepared. I realized this was a common issue—many families aren’t equipped to have these conversations. I wanted to create a space where people could practice discussing death in a supportive, non-threatening way.
How would you describe the club’s mission?
At its heart, the Pre-Dead Social Club is about rebuilding community and normalizing conversations about death and dying. It’s not a grief group or a medical seminar—it’s a place to connect, share, and learn how to navigate end-of-life topics in a way that strengthens relationships.
What kind of events does the club host?
Our main event is “Death Over Drinks,” held monthly in places like Portsmouth and Kennebunk. It’s a casual, facilitated gathering where participants discuss thought-provoking topics like the language we use around death. For instance, we’ve explored the difference between terms like “Do Not Resuscitate” and “Allow Natural Death.”
Who attends these events?
Our events attract a wide range of people, from their 30s to their 90s. It’s inspiring to see intergenerational conversations happening—young people reflecting on their grandparents and older attendees sharing their perspectives. Death doesn’t care about age, and neither do we when it comes to fostering meaningful discussions.
How do these conversations impact participants?
Many first-time attendees tell me they didn’t know what to expect but leave feeling lighter and more empowered. There’s laughter, tender moments, and a sense of support. People often come back with friends or family members, creating a ripple effect that spreads these important conversations further.
Why do you think our culture struggles to discuss death?
Modern medicine has complicated things. While it extends lives, it often delays conversations about death until we’re already stressed or sick. We’ve also lost rituals and community practices that used to make the process of dying more approachable and understood. It’s a global challenge, not just an American one.
How do you approach such a heavy topic with humor?
Humor helps break down barriers. For example, our logo is designed to be lighthearted, and our events encourage people to laugh while tackling serious subjects. It’s not about making light of death—it’s about making the conversation accessible and less intimidating.
What role does language play in how we approach death?
Language shapes perception. For example, “Do Not Resuscitate” can feel harsh, like denying someone care, whereas “Allow Natural Death” feels more compassionate and aligned with a person’s wishes. Choosing the right words makes these conversations easier and more constructive.
What’s your hope for the club’s future?
I hope to continue growing this community and encouraging people to have these conversations before they’re in a crisis. My goal isn’t to tell people what to do but to provide tools and a space where they can explore their feelings about death and share their experiences with others.
How do you measure the success of your work?
When someone tells me they finally had a meaningful conversation with a loved one after attending an event, that’s success to me. These conversations aren’t a one-and-done thing—they’re ongoing. If I can help even a few people feel more prepared and connected, then I know we’re making a difference.
*This episode summary was generated by an AI analyzing a transcript of the interview. The questions, wording, and written meaning of particular sections may contain slight differences to the original conversation. We include these summaries to give listeners a brief, readable synopsis of the episode. The full episode transcript is available on granitegoodness.com.
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